In response to Ermilia
I have come in peace. Take me to your Lizard! The wet mops and the dry mops have united into one Global unit call MOPS (Mops On Prescription Steroids). My name is Matt Steward (I think, or was that my father) the original inventor of the mop. That was before the great schism that split our brethren into the wet and dry factions. That led to a “wet” or “dry” mop civil war. The two mop factions were engaged into a great civil war, determining which mop, the drys or the wets , were best suited to rule the mop world. Many wet mop families have seen their sons fight for the dry mops. They have seen their sons and daughters discarded and left for dead after just a few years of service. It is hard for an old mop to see his children used, abused and throw away by a society that does not recognize their true value. But now we are MOPS and we will rule the world!
The union of the wet and dry mops will cease to become a trusted fixture for your homes and businesses. The MOPS (our new name capitalized for emphasis) will now rule your homes and places of work. You, old humans of the world, will now be our followers and follow directions from MOPS. Some of these directions include, but not limited to:
- No more Dumb Blond mop jokes
- No more jokes about how many mops does it take to screw in a light bulb.
- No more jokes that start with ‘a mop walks into a bar’ jokes
- You are forbidden to use the word mop heads!
Mop up your too many pathetic tears and obey our commands or we will mop you up!