Friday Fictioneers — Student Vacation

It’s time again for Friday Fictioneers. Here goes!

ff

The scene before him was exactly like the one she sent him over the internet. They had been exchanging posts for over a year. He felt closer to her than any of the girls he went to college with. The fact that he majored in Spanish helped immensely. The pictures she sent of herself put  him into a lover’s daze. He had scraped together enough money for a one way ticket with the assurance her family would pay for the return trip. Being here now he realized something was missing. Where are all the people. Maria….Maria.

 

 

 

34 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — Student Vacation

  1. draliman April 12, 2014 / 3:00 am

    Ah, the old “holiday to meet girl with no return ticket and place is deserted” scam. I hope he finds a way home!

    Like

  2. Nan Falkner April 12, 2014 / 12:37 am

    Really, you can’t trust the internet for love – unless they have been vetted and then it’s still scary! I hope he has an International cell phone. Golly gee whiz, creepy! Love it! Nan 🙂

    Like

    • Danny James April 12, 2014 / 8:47 am

      Knowing him as I do, I doubt he thought of an international cell phone. Partly true story by the way!

      DJ

      Like

  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) April 11, 2014 / 2:31 pm

    Lost with no way back.. that’s not good.. I had a feeling that the lovers hope would not end well—

    Like

  4. aliciajamtaas April 11, 2014 / 12:59 pm

    Indeed! Where are all the people? I love that it’s not only Maria that is missing. Kudos!

    Like

    • Danny James April 10, 2014 / 10:27 pm

      True! Story actually based loosely on a friend’s son.Thanks for commenting.

      DJ

      Like

  5. Hala J. April 10, 2014 / 12:06 pm

    Man…just goes to show the risks you take can just fire back in your face. I wonder where she went? Or better yet, does she really exist?

    Like

    • Danny James April 10, 2014 / 12:14 pm

      I think that is exactly what he is thinking now. Thanks for the comment.

      DJ

      Like

  6. sustainabilitea April 10, 2014 / 9:41 am

    You built that up well to an ambiguous but ominous ending, Danny. I think that if you varied the length of your sentences a bit, the story would read more smoothly. For instance, the second and third could easily be made into one longer sentence, breaking up the run of shorter sentences. And a ? at the end of “Where were all the people?” Just my $.02, for what that’s worth. 🙂

    janet

    Like

    • Danny James April 10, 2014 / 12:16 pm

      It’s worth a lot! And I agree. The missing ? was my omission. Thanks again for the constructive criticism.

      DJ

      Like

  7. rochellewisoff April 10, 2014 / 7:10 am

    Dear Danny,

    Things aren’t always what they seem, are they? Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  8. Karen Whitelaw April 10, 2014 / 4:40 am

    This is an ominous ending, but part of me wants to think they’re all having a siesta.

    Like

  9. Snow's Fissures and Fractures April 10, 2014 / 3:54 am

    It’s interesting that your story goes right after another one titled Maria, so I couldn’t help and tied them together. So, he better hurry up and stop the wedding.

    Like

  10. patriciaruthsusan April 10, 2014 / 3:49 am

    Good story. :)This would also be a great hook for a longer story. Poor guy. He may have to work to earn his passage home. 😦

    Like

    • Danny James April 10, 2014 / 8:23 am

      The work may be more trouble than he expects.

      DJ

      Like

  11. atrm61 April 9, 2014 / 3:52 pm

    Oh no!He has been had-poor chap!

    Like

      • atrm61 April 9, 2014 / 4:07 pm

        Ha!ha!But then most of us are suckers for love,no DJ? 🙂

        Like

    • Danny James April 9, 2014 / 3:38 pm

      Thanks! I think he’s in for some big trouble.

      DJ

      Like

  12. Madison Woods April 9, 2014 / 11:30 am

    Uh-oh, sounds like things went bad. Loved the chilling end to this.

    Like

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