Haibun Thinking: Week 2 — Change In Command

Haibun Thinking:

The prompt I chose:

 Gathering her brows like gathering storm, Nursing her wrath to keep it warm
Robert Burns

Photo Credit: Google

She had witnessed the way some of the old town gentlemen celebrated their nights. Not a woman in sight except for those that prepared the feast on which these pigs stuffed themselves. Relegated to the role of waitress was not her style. Beckoning at their every call sent her brows up like two woolly worms getting ready to fight. And on top of that she had to clean up their filthy mess. She thought her future would consist of a lovely husband some rug rats to keep things interesting. Every night she dreamed of them in their graves.

jealously she had

 an old girl should have some  fun

not in this boy’s club

But she dreamed, and with the other ladies left at home, made a plan. Nothing drastic. Nobody would get hurt. The beer will still flow and the fiddle play. Roles would just be reversed. These decrepit drunks would soon be asleep.

when these old men wake

this village of Alloway

belongs to the girls

17 thoughts on “Haibun Thinking: Week 2 — Change In Command

  1. julespaige January 31, 2014 / 10:49 pm

    I’m not great with current musics, but this reminds me of the song -“Girls just wanna have fun”
    -Madonna maybe? I rather think that there wasn’t much time for a girls club in those days (depicted in the image) – so one would have to be cleverly ‘carved out’ 🙂

    ~Cheers, Jules


    • Danny James January 31, 2014 / 11:30 pm

      Nice comment. I think it was Cindy Lauper. Hadn’t really thought about that but you are correct.



    • Danny James January 30, 2014 / 9:37 am

      Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the nice compliment.



  2. draliman January 30, 2014 / 8:13 am

    I like the description of her eyebrows as woolly worms! And it looks like this worm is about to turn.


    • Danny James January 30, 2014 / 9:36 am

      As the worm turns…or is that as the world turns. Thanks!



  3. Anja January 30, 2014 / 5:39 am

    Oh I really liked this and very unexpected! Great job!!!!


    • Danny James January 30, 2014 / 9:36 am

      Thanks Anja. We should be able to get out of the home today. Snow/Ice bound yesterday. BTW…Signed an agreement on a home in FL yesterday. 😎



      • Anja January 30, 2014 / 9:36 am

        Welcome. We are still trapped. Ice everywhere and on the bridge. 😦
        Did you really????? Congratulations!!!


          • Anja January 30, 2014 / 9:46 am

            ha Yep….that pretty much describes a lot of Florida. lol


  4. Al January 30, 2014 / 2:13 am

    I like that. A woman in a men’s club being leered at abused by the patrons.


  5. summerstommy2 January 29, 2014 / 11:01 pm

    Sorry made a typo in my comment – charged – not charges – goes to show we are all human…


  6. summerstommy2 January 29, 2014 / 11:00 pm

    What a great haibun Danny. very emotionally charges I loved it. In the second sentence should it be ‘woman’ not ‘women’? Welcome to week two. Very well done.


    • Danny James January 30, 2014 / 9:05 am

      Thanks for the catch. Appreciate your kind comment. Post is now corrected.



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