Five Sentence Fiction — Moments   8 comments

moments1

In response to Lille McFerrin Five Sentence Fiction Challenge:

Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week she will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. Poem written in the American Sentence style.

Story about someone born with one kidney and after many years of dialysis keeps fighting until the end.

Thanks to Bjorn!

Except for the constant soft beating of the machine, it is quiet.

You lay still, never even a twitch,  with that awful thing in your throat.

Few visitors come to see what remains of the  once beautiful you.

Most people are born with two but someone decided you only get one.

Sleep little sister knowing that everything was done for you this day.

8 responses to “Five Sentence Fiction — Moments

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  1. Liked this alot.

    Like

  2. Even without knowing the details, there is a feeling of someone in their last moments. I found it intriguing.

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  3. Oh a sequence of connected sentences works great with me… really creates a message … good job Danny

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  4. I think including the kidney and the dialysis machine in the text wouldn’t have been out of place. Without the preceding notes the vagueness of the prose allows for other interpretations. Sometimes it’s better to allow the reader to fill in the gaps

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