Tag: Funny

I Was Here

The Daily Prompt:

You are the first astronaut to arrive on a new, uncharted planet. Write the note that you leave to those who come after you.

For Sale

New Planet

Hardly walked on

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Huh?

http://www.latimes.com/science/la-sci-huh-20131109,0,4266398.story#axzz2kGkVFYew

Huh? It’s a universal word, linguists find. A new study examined languages from around the world and discovered what they could be a universal word: “huh?”

“While it may seem like a throwaway word, “Huh?” is the glue that holds a broken conversation together, the globe-trotting team reported Friday in the Journal PLOS ONE.”

Now I can point to this study when my wife asks me a question when I’m not paying attention. “Huh?”

VICTORY – Oldest Driver Ever Wins NASCAR Event at Charlotte Motor Speedway

You are receiving an award –- either one that already exists, or a new one created just for you. What would the award be, why are you being honored, and what would you say in your acceptance speech?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us VICTORY.

Danny James become the oldest driver to win a NASCAR sanctioned event at Charlotte Motor Speedway Sunday. Danny, who is 67, passed Jeff Gordon on turn four on the last lap in this 600 mile race.

Danny before the big event at Charlotte.
Danny before the big event at Charlotte with his NASCAR heroes behind him.

The race was delayed 30 minutes while Danny’s pit crew squeezed him in his car (below).

Danny's Pit Crew helping him into his car.
Danny’s Pit Crew helping him into his car.

The race was delayed again on lap 267 when Danny raised two fingers indicating, not victory, but the fact he had to use the facilities. Once the race resumed Danny made up the lost time in the pits by driving very aggressive for the remainder of the race until the last lap when he passed Jeff Gordon for the win. Just as Danny passed the finish line his car suddenly made a violent right turn and crashed into the retaining wall and totally wrecked his car.

In Danny’s acceptance speech he thanked his pit crew and sponsors. He also thanked the fans for their patience while he went to the bathroom. When asked what made him so fast in the last part of the race and what happened to cause his wreck on the last lap Danny responded that as soon as the restart began he suffered a cramp in his right foot and could not take his foot off the gas. As for the wreck Danny  said it was the only way he could stop the damn car.

Thanks to the Daily Prompt

Her Memory Has Escaped. Please Help!

Egypt

They were on their dream vacation. A trip to Egypt. The trip included stops at Cairo, Luxor Temples, Karnac Temples, Valley of the Kings, and Abu Simbel Temples.

The part of the tour he was excited about was the boat trip up the Nile just relaxing on the top deck by the pool, getting caught up on some of his reading, and just generally meeting new people.

As they were preparing for dinner he turned to his wife and said “What’s the name of the couple we are sitting with at dinner tonight?”

His wife responded “I can’t remember, my memory has escaped me.”

Alarmed he turned to her and said with a straight face “Do you think we should go and try to find it?”

“What,” she said?

“Well, your memory is a terrible thing to lose. We MUST find it! I’ll inform the Captain of your loss and he can announce it over the PA system alerting everyone to be on the lookout for your memory, he said.”

“And I will notify the NSA as they keep track of everything today,” he added.

“What the hell are you talking about, she said.”

“I think dear, you meant to say “It escapes my memory, not my memory has escaped me,” he replied.

“Whatever”, she said.

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