Harmful To Your Health   28 comments

This post is written for Friday Fictioneers. 

jhc-2

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

 

All I could hear was the low hissing of a machine. My breathing wasn’t my own. The machine on my right was making me breath. I could see the triangle shape of plastic that cover my nose was beginning to fog.

A painful look down revealed jelly coated gauze wrapped over my arms and legs.

Then suddenly a machine I hadn’t noticed began to scream with loud sirens. On this machine were graphs that were making a zig zag pattern on the screen.

At that moment one of the screens went flat.

Yet another reason to quit smoking, Jimmy.

Posted November 15, 2017 by Danny James in Friday Fictioneers

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28 responses to “Harmful To Your Health

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  1. nice…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My dad worked on fires where people were smoking and fell asleep. They often don’t survive to make it to the hospital. Good story and writing, Danny. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jimmy realized his error way to late. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really like how strange he looks to himself and then the familiar refrain (I used to smoke and it was so hard to give up!).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There are no reason to smoke at all… still when you are caught there is only one way out.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Good descriptions. I was with him.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A nice take on the prompt and a great message.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh man… to see yourself like that… awful
    (You might want to change the first “here” to “hear” 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Now is he watching his own or someone else’s? I wonder! Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Once burned twice smoked. I never smoked, but I have watched others and know how difficult it is to stop. Disoriented, fearful, noises that signal doom, a very scary scenario.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. As cautionary tales go, that’s a cracker. Great title, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A cracker of a last line. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The old “fall asleep with a lit cigarette” scenario. Nice last line.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Really effective story, well told.

    If I may, just a small grammatical change would improve the last line. You need a comma after “smoking.” Otherwise, it seems as if the person is smoking Jimmy, which is actually pretty unusual 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. That was a hard hitting last line. Very good.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Wow, I to calm down with a cigarette after reading that!

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Yikes, how tragic.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. It amazes me that anyone does smoke these days. Too late for Jimmy.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. So many reasons to quit, but it is hard to kick the habit. Nice story.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I am seeing a spirit leaving…

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Dear Danny

    I can think of thousands of reasons to quit smoking.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I think you got the confusion of coming to with hospital noises around you and yet not knowing why you are there. Even more frightening to have one of the machines flatline. Lets hope it was just a lead falling off. Nice twist at the end.

    Liked by 2 people

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