The Long Walk   14 comments

These 101 words form my submission to Friday Fictioneers.


She had forgotten her name, but not her feelings. She was feeling sad. They had been mean to her, that she could remember. There had been more than one and they passed her around like a jug of wine each taking a sip. She remembered the hard concrete as her head hit it. They told her that her father would pick her up at the end of the dock. As she looked down the wooden walk she realized it would take all of her will power to reach the end. Then she realized her father passed away five years ago.

14 responses to “The Long Walk

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  1. Well written and so very sad Thugs, everyone of them and other things too. Good story. Nan


  2. Very sad but well written. All a person has to do is pick up the newspaper to see things like that happening more and more. Those guys were apparently known to her. Tramatic.


  3. Poor woman – that was hard-hitting and gritty.


  4. “There had been more than one and they passed her around like a jug of wine each taking a sip.”How horrific!No succour for the poor girl it seems-heart breaking story Danny -very well done!


  5. Dear Danny,

    I think you need “ed” at the end of remember in the sentence where she remembered the hard concrete.
    She’s certainly been through a lot. Sad and hard hitting.




  6. My heart just hit bottom after that one, Danny. Good job, although I think “sad” might be an understatement.



  7. Great take on the prompt.


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